Me, My Daddy and the Butterfly

I always wanted to be a butterfly. I’m just 4 years old. I can’t even spell the word Butterfly. But I want to be a butterfly. I want to fly like it. I want to have all the colors on me just like it. It was nearly a year ago when my daddy presented me with a biiig butterfly on my b’day. It was a day that that I would never forget in my life.

One Year Back                     

My daddy is the sweetest person in this world. On my last b’day, he bought this big butterfly and placed it under my bed at night. When I woke up on that morning, he asked me look under the bed. It was the first time I ever saw a butterfly. Actually it was the first time that I heard the word “Butterfly”. I fell in love with butterflies from that day.

“It is not flying daddy. You said butterflies would fly. Why is it not flying?” I asked my dad that afternoon.                          

“It is just a toy dear. Real butterflies would fly” he told me.

From that day, my fascination towards butterflies increased. I started dreaming about them. I would ask dad millions and millions of questions about them. Every night, I would force my dad to tell stories about butterflies. While traveling in car, I would look through the window to spot these colorful butterflies flying around freely in this vast world.

                             

7 Days Back

My daddy was watching me through the frosted glass door. I was jumping around with paper wings tied around my back. I asked my dad to prepare them for me. He was awake all through the night and made them for me.

                   “What are you doing?” my dad asked.

                   “I want to be a butterfly” I said and jumped again and the paper wings flipped to and fro.

                   “Butterfly?” he said moving towards me.

                   “yeaaaaah” I said jumping again.

                   “Why?” he asked.

                   “Because I want to flyyyy” I said turning around and jumping.

                   “Okay….What do you want on your next b’day?” he asked.

                   “Hmmmm…a butterfly” I said.

                   “Sure. How big should it be?” he asked and smiled.

                   “Thiiiiiiiiis much” I said stretching my hands as far as I can.

                   My dad caught me and hugged.

5 Days Back:

Dad, mom, sister and I were at the dinner table.

“You will be going to school from next week” my mom told me.
I looked at her sadly. In a year, I too would be like my sister. I have to get up early, do home works, and study everyday. This thought itself scared me. My b’day is going to come within 5 days. So, from next day after my b’day, I should be going to school.

‘I hate studying. A butterfly has no school to go and no home works to do… right??... I wanted to be butterfly. I wanted to be free like it and fly happily like it’- I thought

            

2 Days Back:

I was sleeping with my sister. I should be going to school within 3 days from now. My b’day is going to come within 2 days. I turned towards my sister. She was reading a book. Her hair was hanging down around her face, and she has to flip it one side so that she can see in the candle light. She was preparing for her exam. I wasn’t able to sleep that night.

I just got up and went to my daddy’s room. He was sleeping. I went and slept beside him. He woke up.

“Didn’t sleep yet?” he asked.

I nodded my head. He took me on his lap, hugged me tight and said “What happened? You want to hear about Butterflies?”

“Yeah” I said and smiled excitedly.

Then, he held me tight and told me about butterflies and I would never forget the words that he told that night in my entire life.

He said-“Butterflies are the most beautiful creatures in the world. They are so delicate from outside but still have a hard determination. They struggle to emerge from a cocoon and once they are out of it, they show no sign of their struggle. They appear colorful. Each color signifies a layer of deep feeling.
They take happiness to wherever they go. They might live for just a small amount of time, but still they remain happy as they are going to live forever. The butterfly never cares about the count of days that it is going to live, but it cares about the count of moments that it is going to enjoy. In the end, some butterflies have a happy death. And some of them have a different one. They end up getting their wings torn due to rain, humans or something. But whatever it is, they die a fulfilling death, because they lived their life to the fullest…. ” 

By then, I was already sleeping…            

                   

1 Day Back:

Tomorrow is going to be my b’day. I was playing the whole day today. Dad was going out. He asked me to come along.

“I want to play” I said.

“Don’t leave the house. I’ll be back in 20 minutes” dad said and got into the car.

I nodded my head. He drove past me.

That was the last time that I saw my dad.
“I’ll be back in 20 minutes” dad said. But he didn’t. I waited for 8 hours without sleeping. At 11:30 in the night, our phone rang. My mom answered it. After that, she told something to my sister and left the home hurriedly. My sister came to me and hugged me tight.
“Where is daddy? Why didn’t he come home?” I asked her.

She didn’t answer me. I could see her crying. She was trying hard to fight back her tears. Later she said that he would never get back as he had an accident.

After hearing that, I didn’t cry. I didn’t shout. I don’t know what went through my mind at that moment. I asked my sister “What time is it?”

“12 o’clock” she said.

Today:                     

I just ran to my room. I crawled under my bed. I found a big red box lying under it. I took it. It is my b’day now and dad might have placed it some time ago so that he could surprise me on the next day. “From- Your Loving Daddy”-was written on top of it. I opened the box. There was a butterfly in it. The biggest one I have ever seen in my life. It was colorful. Beautiful… Delicate… And the most important thing is – It was the last, loving present from my daddy.

The story that my daddy told me last night came back to my mind….. 

“In the end, some butterflies have a happy death. And some of them have a different one. They end up getting their wings torn due to rain, humans or something. But whatever it is, they die a fulfilling death, because they lived their life to the fullest…. ”
Did my daddy have a happy death?  Did he live his life to the full extent? Did he think about me just before the moment he died? I didn’t even kiss my daddy while he was leaving. I didn’t even say “bye” to him. I didn’t even hug him before he left.
I want to be a butterfly. I want to fly away from this world and find happiness. I want to get my wings torn and die so that I could reach my daddy. I really really really want to be a butterfly………