There are those of you that who adores their mothers, who are everlastingly grateful for everything their mother has done; who answers the question - do you love your mother? with of course I do as if there can be no alternative. This is not for you. Fuck you.
You have enough. You don't need this.
This is for everyone else.
This is for the ones who have been suffocated, controlled, belittled, abused, ignored, humiliated, cast out. This is for the ones who never felt wanted. This is for the ones who have been denied that which most of the world considers a universal truth, the ones that have stood outside the gates of unconditional love and looked in alone and confused. This is for the ones who felt unworthy - there must be something wrong with me - must be, otherwise, why else would my mother not love me? Mothers love. Right? That's their function.
This is for the ones who seem lost on this mother earth with no place home - no matter how many houses they have lived in. For the ones who simply feel indifferent to their mothers, the ones that just not have nothing in common with this stranger older lady sitting in the same room as them. The ones that can't really speak to their mothers but are bound by the rules of society to smile and give them a good news, to shield them from the truth of themselves, from the truth of their downfalls and failings, who play the part of the good child but are really just hiding, the ones who have no great hate, no great turmoil, but for whatever reason have always wanted to escape to be free of what it is to them, the shackles of a family, then there are those with a constant burning anxiety who don't know how to be - who either are miserably seeking for approval or filled with a rage that wants to reject approval, reject society, reject love.
This is for the ones who when they speak up and try to express how they feel are constantly beaten down with the constant glorified dogmatic shit - "don't say that she's your mother."
Try telling someone that you don't love your mother, just for a game, try to explain why and you will be met with endless arguments on how you must be wrong, and you must try to understand her - "don't say that, she's your mother."
What of the mothers that just don't care? What of the mother that never wanted a child? What of the mother that never feels the magic, sudden connection, who instead half halfheartedly plays a part that doesn't truly feels. What of the mother that abuses her children physically and mentally. What of the mother that lets their children suffer at the hands of their husbands or boyfriends simply because she is too afraid to be alone. What of the mother that humiliates her child because life has humiliated her and she doesn't know what else to do with all of this humiliation. What of the thousands of mothers too caught up in their own desires, their own sufferings, their own abusive patterns forged by the fires of their own lives to understand the damage they are having on these little seedlings, these tiny little babies - who don't know any better or don't have anyone else.
There are thousands of types of mothers and I'm not here to judge mothers, mothers are just people, with their own problems, trying to make sense of this big bad world. Our conditioning, our brainwashing - makes us incapable of seeing them of who they really are, but no excuses either, it doesn't change the fact that they have caused pain. So, for the ones suffering, it's not your fault; mothers are just people, with problems just like you they fuck up. Forgive them if you can, forgive them if you like. But look to your own life - there are so many things to do, so many things to be, do them! be them! don't carry that pain forever.
Love yourself. Forgive yourself. Accept yourself. Nurture yourself. Scold yourself. Guide yourself. Push yourself to grow.
